From Dan Beedell, east to west Communications [abbreviated]:
“Watching some TV over the holidays, shows like Dinner Date, Love Island and TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) made me think that we live in an age where relationships are becoming increasingly transient. These shows view relationships as a form of entertainment, for the TV-watching voyeur, where there is always another, better, sexier option! Those taking part are never fully committed and the relationships are usually doomed to fail. Sadly, this can lead to issues around self-esteem, mental health and wellbeing, struggles to maintain and retain identity and the potential for online abuse and criticism.
The reason I’ve highlighted this is because for many young people they appear to be a barometer for happiness and contentment and a guide to how relationships should be conducted and how others are meant to be treated…usually falling well short of care and love.
The truth is, relationships cover more than romance. In an east to west context, relationships are about valuing others, building them up, supporting them and helping them to move forward with their lives. Dan Rockwell’s “7 Universal Competencies for Success” highlights three key areas for the building of a successful relationship: Creating Partnerships, Building Trust and Sharing Ideas.
When we first meet a young person or family, our key focus is on creating a partnership, the foundation on which everything else is built and which needs to be constantly worked on, developed and underpinned.
When we’re working face to face with an individual or group trust is vital. One of east to west’s ethos words is integrity – the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles – which is something we bring to all the relationships we build. Part of this is trust in us to ‘hold’ whatever a young person or family is sharing and do the right thing with it, e.g. just listen, share a safeguarding concern or help them understand and resolve what’s happening. Trust is an interesting thing – it takes a long time to build and can be broken quickly. This is why it has to be built on the solid ground of sustainable partnership.
Rockwell’s final point is about sharing ideas. You can only share ideas that are effective and life-changing if there is a foundation of trust. Sharing ideas is also about ownership; who is responsible for its outworking. I’m reminded of a situation one of our team had in school: a young person struggling with her maths teacher. A small change, which she owned, was around her attitude and smiling at the staff member when she entered their classroom. This change transformed her experience of this particular lesson and ultimately had a positive impact on the rest of her schooling.
Coming full circle, we know that those who come into contact with east to west are treated differently to those they see on TV – they witness and experience how relationships should be conducted and how people are meant to be valued and treated.
This month, we ask you to pray for our team as they head back into schools to pick up or build new partnerships filled with trust, sharing, love and support.”